i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
