I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
