brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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