Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
