WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
