i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
