somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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