dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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