Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
