My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
Randomize
