She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
