it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
