the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
