Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Randomize
