My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Randomize
