i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
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