I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
