ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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