Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
No subtext here. People are naked.
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
