brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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