I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
Dear god my vagina.
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