Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
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