I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Randomize
