Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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