Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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