New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
