No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
