Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
