btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
pray to the hookup gods
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
