I feel like I'm in dance class right now
it wasn't lemon gatorade
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
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