A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
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