i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
It's not a walk of shame if you run
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
