I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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