Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
