need another drink. this is the easiest way
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Randomize
