one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
