I murdered the dance floor call the cops
Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Randomize
