I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
she looked like the before picture.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
