This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
