were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Terrible idea I love it
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
