Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
