At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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