I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Randomize
