There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I believe in your delicious
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
