wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I need to calm my uterus...
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
