My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
