im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
