Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
