i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
