no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
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