i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
