quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
