Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
