I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
